Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be THAT girl...
The one who would willingly put her body on display...
You might see this picture and think::::
WHY WOULDN'T YOU!!??
But here's the deal....6 months prior to this picture I had a baby, and prior to that I had spent my life hiding and shaming my body.
I didn't think I was cute. I didn't think I was sexy. In fact, I did everything to hide my body in all black or baggy clothes.
I wasn't allowed to wear a bikini, in fact, showing skin in a revealing way was considered a sin in my family.
When I looked in the mirror, I didn't see a fit, sexy, curvy woman....
I saw a saggy, fat, ugly, pathetic, insecure, out of shape figure of a person and inside I felt like I looked like I was 200+ pounds.
My insecurities were literally weighing me down....
To the point where I would get paralyzed with shame and fear.
I would obsess about what people thought of my butt, or my thighs, I would worry 24/7 that people were constantly judging my body.
I would spend hours upon hours looking in the mirror, pinching my belly, my thighs, my butt.
I would spend so much money on pills, diets, quick fixes, not to mention exercise gadgets, and clothes that I would literally only wear once and then never wear again.
I was constantly over spending to over compensate for this giant whole in my self-esteem.
It was a nightmare...
But the worst part....
I HAD NO IDEA!!!!
I had no idea how much time, energy, and effort I was wasting by this obsessive behavior.
I had no idea that this was my tactic to separate from me and to use it as an excuse to keep people away.
I was trying to make up for the inadequacy I had imagined as real.....
I wasn't willing to be me, receive me, or even acknowledge me...
Shame, Blame, Regret, and self - hatred was the way to avoid.
Why am I telling you all of this....
👉 I NEVER thought I would LOVE my BODY
👉I NEVER thought I could be comfortable in my own skin
👉I NEVER thought I could have a fit body after 16 years old (and even at 15 & 16 when I had 6% body fat....think sinking while trying to float in water) I never saw myself as fit, skinny, or athletic. I felt like the odd girl out, with a whole bunch of awkwardness
👉It didn't matter how many diets I tried
👉It didn't matter how much I starved myself, I still never felt good enough
👉It didn't matter how well I ate, my body never really changed, until I stopped eating (and almost died)
Truth be told, I was a miserable wreck....
But then I discovered something that literally altered the course of my life.
And it wasn't in a pill, or a a diet, or a book, or a remedy.
It was inside of me, a hidden gem that I didn't know was there.
And when I found this little remedy....
MY ENTIRE LIFE got BETTER!
What if your body was NOT the thing that's stopping you?
As we begin a new year.... many people will recommit to getting healthy, eating better, and losing weight....
For some, it will be a life long change, for others, it will re-engage a pattern of judgment and insecurity and feelings of not enough as if there is something wrong with them....
THere is NOTHING WRONG!!!!
So instead of the usual diets...
What if instead of resolutions....You start a REVOLUTION?
What would your life look like if you started a revolution?
See you on the inside.
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